|
James J. De Santis, Ph.D. Post Office Box 894, Glendora, CA 91740-0894 (818) 551-1714 The reader is welcome to print any screen from this website for personal use only as long as author, copyright, and contact information are not removed. How does a layperson recommend to someone the idea of consulting a mental health professional so that they will take it well? Here are ten simple ways for the non-professional to make a recommendation that can be both effective and diplomatic. #1 Offer Gentle Suggestion When someone discusses difficulties they are having, matter-of-factly take the initiative. Suggestion is often enough. A business card can be an easy way of offering a referral. Say, "Here's someone who might help." Often, people have clear opinions about counseling, either for or against. You can leave it at that. #2 Show Caring "Well, you know you have my support, AND, if you might want to consult a therapist, I can give you the name of someone that I personally know." The best referrals are word of mouth. #3 Avoid Medical Jargon Talk about "a family meeting" or a "marriage check-up" rather than "psychotherapy" or "mental health evaluation and treatment" that implies ideas of involuntary hospitalization, years of intellectualized conversations, or labels of "insanity" to some people. #4 Normalize By Disclosure If you've ever been in counseling, it lessens someone else's sense of it being a stigma to confide that you or a loved one has benefited from it. This makes a visit to a therapist more ordinary. #5 Normalize By Statistics You can mention that statistics show that at any one time 50 million Americans can benefit from psychological support--but only 1/3 of them seek it out. #6 Normalize By Comparison We routinely arrange for services from a CPA for tax advice, from a dentist for dental checkups, from a mechanic for car maintenance. What can be useful for many people is brief consultation with a mental health professional--intermittently--throughout the lifespan--during times of transition, adjustment, or crisis. #7 Characterize As An Objective Point of View "You know what I think already, but I also wonder if talking to a counselor might give you some fresh ideas, too." #8 Avoid Pressure It is seldom helpful to insist someone seek psychological services. A good therapist will not put pressure on someone for unnecessary services. A good therapist will tell a person if they are not the right therapist for them, either, and should be able to easily refer them to one of several colleagues who are a good match: based on special areas of expertise, gender/age/ethnicity, office location, or insurance accepted. #9 Describe A First Appointment If you've never been to one, a first appointment is generally a conversation. People will usually start by talking about what they have been troubled by and what they have tried to do so far to resolve their difficulties. The therapist may take some notes and ask some questions. Together, client and therapist clarify the situation, set out goals, and consider methods most likely to adddress the need. Counseling may or may not be recommended, and is just one possible approach. #10 Point Out Benefits And Priorities Cost can be minimal relative to it's potential value. Start from what the benefits can be to the person, for example in a happier marriage, a more satisfying job, or better-adjusted children. In our culture, we have been indoctrinated in the notion that counseling has to be long-term, lasting years and years. A useful consultation can be just an hour or two. Statistics show that most people attend therapy from 4-8 sessions. Lastly, always be yourself. Be sincere because sincerity comes across. Use your own personal style and tailer your approach to the person you're talking with. Remember the goal is offering constructive help to someone you're concerned about. |
How to Recommend a Psychologist |